I got my letter yesterday from the hospital for my next check up, this is when i'll get the results from the biopsy, find out for definite if it's cancer or not. I have to wait three more weeks. Thats's such a long time, do they not realise that you want to know quickly, so you can get your head around it and work out a way to get better?
I've stopped eating dairy :( i am a big foodie lover and i particularly love cheese and chocolate so this is going to be really hard, but my mum already gave it up after her thyroid cancer and my sister is vegan, so she can help. They reckon meat contributes to cancer, i stopped being vegetarian 3 years ago, i've had noticable problems with my thyroid for 1 1/2 years. What are the chances. I read a book yesterday that said no one with cancer is a victim. We have all caused it ourselves. How awful is that to read. That you've given yourself this awful disease, especially when i have never smoked, i don't drink and i'm not overweight. I eat healthily, i look after myself, i didn't exactly increase my chances on purpose.
And i read a website this morning with a comment by a thyroid cancer patient, he said he hated how the doctors told him he had cancer, he had the same 'it's the cancer you would choose' spin off with an added 'it's the best cancer to get', like we're lucky. Really? I think all those that never get cancer are the lucky ones.
I had a really good day yesterday. I went into work to say hi to everyone, they cheered me up and it was so nice to be doing something normal. I got to see all the children, got some hugs and realised how much i love and miss my job. I'm hoping to go back to work next Tuesday, my boss wants me to do just mornings to start. I think it's probably a good idea, i don't know how tired i'm going to get from being up for so long.
On a funny note i had my first sneeze today. I thought my stomach was going to burst through my neck and my head would fall off!!! PAINFUL!! If you have thyroid cancer and your reading this, wait until the neck has healed before you sneeze!!! Plug your nose, put a peg on it!! Anything!! haha no really it's ok, just super weird!
Well today isn't such a god day, i'm cold and tired and feeling a little miserable so i'm going to make a conscious effort to get up and do something productive!! I am a firm believer that you have to make happy days happen sometimes. It's fine to feel sad (my mum says i'm allowed 10 minutes a day) but it's easy to stay sad, you have to make yourself smile and make yourself have a good day. Tom is helping, he is taking me on holiday to cheer me up, we're going to stay in a castle!! I'm so excited! It'll be 2 weeks after my results so i'm guessing i'll need a break either way of the results, so it will be something to look forward to.
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