Forgetfulness

Well, i had a rubbish day yesterday. It had been three weeks since the operation, and I have gone back to work full time. Silly silly me! They are being lovely especially the woman I work alongside, but i am just so frustrated at not feeling normal I'm taking it out on everyone.

To make matters worse i also subconsciously took two tablets last night without meaning to, so went into overdose mode. My heartbeat was so fast i thought i was about to have a heart attack, i was hot, my legs felt like electricity was running through them, and when i woke in the early ours i was sorely tempted to stab myself in the head to release the almighty pressure that was building up creating excruciating pain. I was very sad :(

The side effects of these tablets are horrible. My skin is flaking 24/7, i have no appetite but am putting on weight, my throat and eyes feel dry all the time, my hair is moulting and feels like straw, i am tired during the day and full of energy at night, I'm forgetful of silly things (see above) however my nails are growing stronger than usual so i guess it isn't all bad!

The scar is less noticeable but i still find people staring in the shops, but i guess they are a little closer than most strangers! I have my appointment with my consultant tomorrow (already had the blood tests) and hopefully i will now be put on the normal tablets. I know they are going to take some adjusting and time to settle but i think i will feel better when i just have to remember to take one!

I'm worried about the weekend. My sister-in-law is getting married and i am lucky enough to be bridesmaid, however I'm anxious. What if i can't fit in the dress anymore? What if i get really tired towards the afternoon/early evening? What if i have a crap day and i spend it trying not to cry? Argh. Life is so much simpler with a normal working thyroid! I don't think people realise how much it really does for your body, or what you go through once you don't have one anymore. I'm not saying people aren't sympathetic or kind, it's just difficult putting into words how you feel. I guess slower and crappier than normal sums it up!!

Well, i guess the next blog will be tomorrow after my lovely meeting at the hospital, fingers crossed it's all straight forward!